with Janine Adamson
Life is difficult for me at the moment, is it hard for you? As an industry, the past few years have been a relentless grind with little reprieve and it’s affecting everyone, even this magazine. Then personally, well, the slurry has hit the fan and my face was the main target.
How do we all cope? It feels like so many of us are deeply struggling. I guess this was the primary driver for the story on page 46 – the importance of talking and being open to accepting help. I loathe to badge this simply a ‘mental health’ feature, it feels much bigger than that. Perhaps because typically, it should be a non-CPM story; it’s truly pushing the boundaries of what we report (I’m all for being a maverick!).
During my tenure at our beloved tome, I haven’t shied away from the fact that I’ve experienced my own troubles when it comes to mental wellbeing. I’ve ridden the bucking broncho of anxiety, sat on the rollercoaster of depression… wrestled with neurodivergent traits, and battled with a host of repressed trauma. But oddly, I’ve never been in a more resilient state than I am today.
Life is absolutely brutal for me at the moment but I seem to be holding myself together, albeit with some baler twine and gaffer tape… and plenty of blind optimism. So how have I done it? How have I survived the grenade?
Well, I’ve returned to talking therapy. I know I can’t do this alone and sometimes that means roping in the professionals. I’m not remotely ashamed, in fact, I’m pretty proud of the fact I’ve identified my state of mind and acted before it’s too late. I can offload to my therapist as someone who knows my past, who understands how my brain works, and who is an expert in listening.
Then, I’m allowing my friends to support me. Historically I’ve been a lone wolf and utterly dreadful at accepting help, but rather than keep them at arm’s length, this time I’ve let them embrace me. Subsequently, I’ve been bowled over at the love and friendship I’ve received, and from the most unexpected directions too. If nothing else, I now know that I am loved.
Other tactics I’ve been using are being mindful and exercising gratitude. Yes I hear you groan, it’s twee, but it works for me. Just noticing the small things that bring comfort – a hot shower, the sound of the dog pattering around on the kitchen floor, a homecooked meal. Small gestures that help to ground me and prevent my mind from spinning into the stratosphere.
Above all, I keep waking up with love in my heart. Again, feel free to roll your eyes, but I can’t stress how important it is for me to keep doing that. To believe in the goodness in the world, to have hope, to trust that this will improve.
Life is incredibly challenging, but time is a healer. Remember, no matter what your situation currently is, you are loved and valued. I really hope this magazine has the power to help, whether that’s in its traditional knowledge transfer guise, or through its wider ethos and current editorial guidance. The latter, in its odd way, is an act of friendship, from me to you.
This article was taken from the latest issue of CPM. Read the article in full here.
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